Homesickness and Culture Shock

      So I do this study every weekday that is supposed to keep you culturally aware and make you think about culture shock and homesickness so you can stay on top of it. I was a little behind so today I did like 5 days in one. (We went on an excursion last week. I'll blog about that later.) Normally it isn't a huge deal. Takes 10-20 minutes tops. Today I had to take a survey about the stages of homesickness. Well it knocked me off my feet.

      If you know me in my deep heart you know that I am an internal processor. I think about things a lot. I think about them for a long time. When I am ready to talk about them I verbal vomit all over the place because I have been thinking about it so much that there is just a lot of things to spill out.

       If you know many of my weird oddities you know that in college I studied in the bathroom. It started out of consideration for my roommate. I was an early riser, so I would go into our bathroom sit on the floor to study before classes. This way I didn't have to bother her with the light or rustling around. It was weird. Typing it out makes it sound even weirder. I also would turn the shower on really hot so it steamed up the whole bathroom. Does wonders for asthma. (This is a perfect example of my verbal vomitting.) It's truly a miracle that I have friends.

      Anywho. That practice has stuck with me. To this day when I really need to buckle down and study, or think something through I wake up early, head to my bathroom turn on the shower and think. So this morning as I'm sitting in the bathroom trying to gauge how homesick I am I just start feeling really pitiful about myself. I miss my family. My friends are going on fun vacations. Several friends are getting married. I haven't met my nephew. My sister is buying a real life grown up house. (Not a deluxe Barbie edition, but still A HOUSE?!) I just got overwhelmed with how much I missed my life there.

     I need to preface this next part with another "If you know me..." statement. I get really choked up during patriotic songs. I cried like a baby just during commercials about that Lifetime or TLC show where they bring soldiers home to surprise their family. I think it started in 6th grade when we did a patriotic medley for an assembly. I truly love patriotic songs. But I have to tell you, that as much as I love my family, I don't know that I always love America. Living in another place will change your perspective. I've never been particularly attached to living in America. But after moving, my desire for the States have everything to do with my people, and nothing to do with the Nation. And I just need to get this off my chest, because it really bothers me.

       People commended me a lot for leaving. They said I was brave. They talked about how much better it is in the states. During 4th of July I saw post after post about God bless America, and about a nation founded by believers and such. And part of me was saying "RIGHT ON! WHOOO Freedom! Whooo Red, White, and Blue!" and another deep place in my heart was screaming "NO! God isn't American." I'm not here to see how much better I have it in the States. I'm not here so I can be grateful for all the privileges I have in the States. Sometimes I think that wealth is such a crippling disease.

       So as I sat in my bathroom floor my heart began to wrestle with the feelings of deep longing to return to see my family, to sit with familiar friends in a familiar place on certain days of the week, to get a stinking snow cone, to have AC that I can afford to run all day long, and to just be comfortable. Those feelings clashed with the frustration of misinformation that people have about the people I love here. About the way they live.

     I guess the culture shock finally hit, but not in the way I expected.

Media Messy

        I got on Facebook/twitter last night. Which is when most of my friends in the states were posting things about either Cory Monteith or the Zimmerman verdict. Social media is an interesting part of life today. There are a lot of times where I want to delete my Facebook and all the rest because they seem like major distractions in life. For me, they often serve as a poor substitute for a real conversation with friends I should be making valuable real contact with. But as I was scrolling through my timeline yesterday I was really struck by a thought. So today's blog is about that and not so much about Africa. It is all interwoven I suppose because I would not have had this thought in the States most likely.

         Let me preface this by saying that this post is NOT about the Zimmerman trial. I did not follow it in the states. I didn't follow it here. That is kind of the point. I have little to no legal knowledge. I have never used a gun for anything other than some targets in the backyard. I have never had someone openly discriminate against me based off of my race. I have very little insight into the case, or even the basic facts of the case. Which was helpful in provoking the thoughts I had yesterday.

        I have always considered myself to be relatively open minded. I have always liked being friends with a lot of different types of people. At different points in my life that has been more difficult than others. Sometimes your circumstances put you in a place where most of your community is pretty similar. Or at least like minded in general. However scrolling through my newsfeed yesterday I was struck by the collection of "friends" I have gathered. They are quite the varied bunch. And I am extremely grateful for that.

       I have friends who are a lot like me. They grew up in a small rural town in the south. In places where segregation is legally over but by the true standard of integration far from ended. Some of my friends from those towns are perfectly ok with that. Some of them hate it. Some of them stayed and will raise their children in that same town that will likely remain the same their whole lives. Some of them moved as far from that as they can. I am grateful to know all of those people.

       I have friends who grew up on the opposite side of that image. Whose skin color is different. Their school was likely as "integrated" as mine was. But looked quite a bit different. Some of those friends are angry about it. Some of those friends are indifferent about it. Some of those friends are working to change it. I am grateful to know all of those people.

       I have friends who are hip. I have friends who move to cool places and do cool things. I have friends who are passionate about the outdoors and all the wonders it holds for us. Some of them are grown ups in the physical sense but have the heart and sense of wonder of a child. Some of those friends are risk takers with little thought of consequences. I have friends who are passionate about taking care of the beautiful land we were given. Some of them honor the one who created it. Some of them honor the creation itself. I am grateful to know all of those people.

       I have friends who are political. I have friends who are deeply conservative on social issues. Some of those it stems from a belief that the people of faith should be taking care of the poor, not the leadership. Some of those friends it comes from a belief that their money is theirs to use, not a power's. Some of my friends are fervently liberal on social issues. Some are that way because of their faith. Some are that way because of money. Some of my friends are half and half. Some of my friends have changed their political affiliation as they have become adults. Some are staunch in their belief that their way is right and will likely never change in that. I am grateful to know all of those people.

        I have friends who believe the same way that I do. I have friends who believe in nothing. I have friends who will say their beliefs are the same as mine but in reality it affects them in a way that is different from me. I have friends who believe vastly different from me and would gladly argue themselves blue over why my beliefs are wrong. I am grateful to know all of those people.

        The point of this is to say that as I was scrolling through reading the reactions of people to the Zimmerman verdict I was struck deeply at the variety of response in my timeline. It happened before with Prop 8. But I was struck with the thought of "I am grateful to know all of those people," every time I read someone's post. I honestly believe I can learn more about myself and a Father who loves all people, from knowing people who are different from me. There are a lot of people who think differently from me, whose opinions are invaluable to me.

      The African part of this comes into play in that Facebook and twitter were pretty much my only source of information about the trial. And I was thinking about how multi sided the story really is. Just based off of the reactions of the 1,000 ish people I know. Imagine how varied they are across the US. Then imagine how varied they are across the world. Take a moment and think about how my understanding of the trial would have been different if I were only friends with one group of those people. If I were only friends with the older relatives in my family. Or the socially conservative young activists. Or the socially liberal young activists. How poorly would I understand the complexity of the human spirit when it encounters a situation that questions "What is just?" if I were just friends with one type of person?

     So all of this babbling to say, look at yourself. Have you created your community to be people who are all the same? I'm not saying that you should open your heart and mind to believe in every different theory and opinion. That will only make you confused and unreliable. But I am saying you should open your ears to hear the other opinions. Let an understanding of the "opposite side" deepen your understanding of a situation. You don't have to agree with them. Just get to know them. I promise it will change your perspective. Someone once told me that they believed that every single person should live in a place radically different from where they spent their life. That it would change the way they looked at the children of faith forever. Having spent a month in a place that has swept me up in its story, I understand what he meant. The Father loves all people. He loves them in a way that is far more perfect than we do.

       There are many things about this post that will likely sound ignorant, or idealistic. I'm self aware enough to know that at some point in my life I will probably disagree with what I wrote here. However that is kind of the point. I hope that I am always meeting people and having discussions that remove bits of ignorance from my life, and insert a view closer to how the Father sees us.

     

       

You win Africa, you always do.

       Well. I have survived three weeks in Africa today! There have been lots of little adventures. Also, quite a few moments of little bits of bravery. And this past week many times where life in Africa got the best of us. Sometimes I just get overwhelmed with the privilege the Father gave me when He gave me the opportunity to come to this wild, beautiful, loud, hectic and wonderful land. It has only been a week since I posted, but oh boy have a lot of things happened.

Elijah Thomas was born. It makes my heart very squirmy that I have to wait 5 more months to see him in person. However, if the pictures do him any justice, he is already too cute to handle.

Wes, Elijah, and my sweet AB.

       Last Sunday the 31st, Pearl, our language teacher took me out on my first "excursion." I am supposed to go on an excursion once every 2-4 weeks ish to get to know other important places in this beautiful country. Well Pearl is originally from an island off the coast of our city. Every day a ferry runs back and forth multiple times. When I came for a visit in March we rode the ferry out to the island. It is really inexpensive. Less than 500 millem which amounts to less than 50 cents in the States.

       The ride is about an hour across the Med. We took the car on the ferry for the first time on the trip. Let me tell you that riding a ferry doesn't seem like too much of an adventure, but when you have about 6 men yelling at you in Arabic how to back it onto the boat it is definitely an adventure. Beth handled it like a champ and we had some good chat time in the car.

In line for the ferry.

       So we set sail in this little sailboat called a Fluka. The water was extremely shallow for quite a ways. After we had been out for a while we decided to swim. When I jumped in I expected to hit the ocean floor because I could see straight down to the seaweed from the boat. It just looked shallow. However, the water is actually just that clear that you can see at least 15-20 feet deep straight to the bottom.

Looking back at the shore. Water about knee deep here.

In motion. Water about 10-15 feet deep here.

Our captain.

So eventually after swimming and just puttering around our leader decides there is not enough wind to get us out to the nets very quickly. So he calls his "cousin" I use the word cousin loosely because according to Pearl everyone on this island is her cousin. She knows everyone and everything.  So he comes in his motor boat and tugs us along to the fishing nets.

Sir Tuggington

Meanwhile we had some charcoal heating up ready to cook us some fish!
(I know. That grill is just chilling on a wooden boat. Fire hazard in a major way)

 So all around the island there are these fence type things. They slowly get more and more narrow until they lead into this area where the fish swim into traps that they can't get out of. At each of these big areas there were probably 2-3 traps.

The big net.

Pulling out the trap

This guy was also fishing. He later gave us a tow and shared his catch with us.
He really wanted me to take his picture doing everything.

Beth steering us around the nets

 So. The following pictures are all things that either we caught, or the guy in the other boat gave us. Just take a little gander at these things. Let it be known, there are some weird looking sea creatures.

This is an octopus. It was flung at me from another boat. I didn't
even scream. Be very impressed because that joker was slimy.

The boating model pulling another octopus
out of a trap to throw at me

Apparently you are supposed to use crabs as bait for the octopus.
This was also thrown at me. And I was forced to hold it.
And let me tell you that crabs are the spiders of the ocean.
They just move really creepy and weird and I am not a fan. NOT a fan. 

He was a cute little shrimpy. And he was delicious.

A bucket of weird sea life.

Cleaned and gutted about to be put on the grill.
I try not to make a habit of eating food that can look at me while I eat it.
But they like to leave the heads on their fish here. It's a thing.

    Anywho. So that was fun. When we got back Beth and Brandi both began to realize just how sun burnt they were. So we spent the evening testing out home remedies for sunburn. In our opinion using tea to draw out the heat seemed to work the best. I thought I escaped mostly unscathed by the sun's rays, however it seems mine just took longer to set in. I woke up the next day with a red back.

      This week I managed to catch and ride in a taxi by myself several times. Which doesn't seem like much, but when you have had to have someone take you literally everywhere you go, it feels like the biggest victory. On the downside I also waited about 35 minutes for a taxi to go teach and finally gave up and called Brandi for a ride. I was very annoyed. Africa won that day. I was 30 minutes late for work.

     I don't know how many of you have ever been to another country. I have to say that one of the most terrifying things to me is the driving. When I learned how to drive in Birmingham I always thought there were some crazy drivers, and some just really awful drivers. Then I moved to Jackson. And I sincerely believed I had met the worst drivers on the planet. Then I moved here. And let me just tell you something. Driving here is one of the biggest adventures of all. I've only been a passenger here. And if you have ever ridden with me you will know that my road rage could not be kept in check if I had to drive here. Well. Long story short, let's just say Africa won again on the roads this week. We will leave it at that.

    We don't have a dishwasher here. So we spend a lot of time doing dishes. Well the other day we had accumulated a massive pile. So I began working through them. I turned the sink faucet to fill one side of the sink and the faucet popped off in my hands and sprayed me with super hot water. We finally managed to get it back on the base and finish the dishes. But I was quite soggy for a bit. Africa won again.

We had a lot of adventures this week. We had a lot of frustrations this week. But we had a lot of laughs this week.


Here's to drinking extra mint tea. And getting back after it again this week. Until next time.